The Tree Of Life

Where am I?

I mean in life?

I feel like I'm getting left behind.

And after spending four hours of my life today watching Gone With The Wind, I know that getting left behind happens to people. I don't want to be like Scarlett O'Hara. The kind of women who misses the greatest opportunities in life due to the blindness of her own immaturity and pride.

I see myself as a mature person, goal oriented and motivated. But maybe my motivation comes off as selfishness and lacking love. I DON'T WANT THAT.

I want a man who "kisses me and often"...according to Rhett in the Gone With The Wind.

I guess this reflection as to where I am in life comes from the fact that people all around me are getting married or having children and starting their lives. Their tree is in full bloom, reaching out to new heights. And sure I'm excited to see that for them, but I cant help be a little jealous. I want that to, and at the rate and ways I'm going about my life now, I honestly don't see it happening. That can be hard to face, especially when you find yourself surrounded by these kind of things everyday. It's not like I can avoid it, and without meaning it I feel like sometimes everyones' success in love and relationships is being rubbed in my face.

"I don't want to be an old maid"...more movie quotes.

Do I see myself as an old maid...honestly....yes.

Locked away in a small apartment with a bunch of cats. As ridiculous as this sounds it's all true. Why do I feel like a crazy person for wanting to be in love and start a family, even if I am young? I honestly cant tell you. I just know its something I want, but its not looking like something I am going to have.

Sadly, my poor tree is looking kind of wilted right now.

Peace and Love,
The gal in the red glasses